Thursday, 19 February 2009

  • We meet again Xanga.

    I had been away from this site for a good long while, but I figured one day I would want to come back and read entries of my high school self, and laugh at the immaturity and stupidity of it all.

    I also thought it'd be a nice time stamp for this:


    Life is great. I've finally shed myself of all things high school related: the insecurities, the personalities, and everything that relates myself with that stage in my life. I'm a brand new person, a person who I am happy I've become. I live life by my rules, and I don't let anyone shape who I am anymore. I where pajamas to class. I talk smack about girls to their faces. I don't care anymore. I'm me. And once you reach that stage, its so liberating. No longer can anyone try to give me their piece of mind. No longer must I suffer through people trying to make me feel bad or bring me down. I am fully and completely me, and nothing can change that now.


    On a related note: It's weird to think that I'll never spend more than a week in Salem for the rest of my life. I am visiting friends for spring break, I'm interning over the summer, and senior year looks to hold multiple trips to the Dominican Republic. I'm designing a medical center down there, and we are constructing it next year. Let that soak in your head for a minute - I am in complete control over the construction of a medical clinic in the Dominican Republic. And I'm still in school! Once I have my degree, no boundary on this Earth shall hold me back. It's a great feeling. All of it.


    What I'm trying to say is,

    I'm content.

Monday, 09 June 2008

  • It's been about a month since I last blogged, which is a huge break for me. Its not that a lot hasn't happened, its just that i really don't care anymore about doing it. There are basically no one who reads it anymore and I feel tired of justifying myself or reflecting on things that I'll more than likely never come back to on here. Life's too short to sit at a computer recreating memories when there are memories out there that you are missing. So I probably won't blog much more in the future. If at all. So goodbye Xanga! It was a good 3 years.

Thursday, 15 May 2008

Monday, 05 May 2008

  • Things have been going pretty great. I woke up after only 3 hours of sleep Sunday morning to go canoing. It was fun. I came back and went straight to playing frisbee, and then ordered some pizza. About then someone came around announcing that there was free food, so of course I went to that. Turns out that it was free food/ sand volleyball/ girls, which are all cool things. And I got 9 hours of sleep, starting at 11 pm! That hadn't happened in a long, long time. I had been going to bed around 6 am, so this is a nice change. It makes you wake up with anticipation for the day ahead. But I have a pretty bad headache... that's the only downer.

    Last night I had a dream that I was back in high school. I was going back for a year as a some sort of co-op thing. It was weird. Everyone I went to high school with was there, as well as someone I go to college with. It left me with a feeling of nostalgia. Imagining being in high school is weird, but sometimes I remember it being nice. Usually I just feel how distant and pointless it all was. Mainly because I'm a different person now. A lot more mature in many ways. Even though I sometimes miss the days of my youth, I look forward to the future with anticipation. I am ready to fall in love and settle down and begin the rest of my life. Am I in a rush? Not really. But I wouldn't mind if it all came sooner rather than later.

Saturday, 03 May 2008

  • http://www.dyers.org/blog/archives/2008/04/14/joseph-palmer-perscuted-for-wearing-the-beard/

    Haha. I like this article. Us bearded ones have withstood hundreds of years of persecution.

Thursday, 24 April 2008

Wednesday, 23 April 2008

  • One thing I've come to realize is that there isn't really anyone out there right now who I have any real feelings for. Which is a foreign feeling for me, since I have seemed to have at least had a crush ever since... 6th grade? I think it is part of the reason why I feel like something is missing. A relationship/ a romantic interest is something I've always dearly wanted, more so probably than the stereotypical man figure that most of my male peers seem to display. And I think in some convoluted way that having a crush of some sort in turn gives me hope. It gives me something to look forward to and to work at. Granted, I've never been in a relationship and most of my advances have always fallen under the creepy/awkward category, so maybe all the hope was nothing but false hope. But it was still something. Pursuing a degree hasn't exactly become a great passion of mine, and I rarely have time for any other interests besides being a sophomore advisor and volunteer work. At least those two passions are alive and kickin'.

    So I guess what I'm trying to get at is I wish I had another crush like the ones of teenagedom. Though they may have been misguided and doomed to fail, they helped me to feel alive, and at the heart of the matter, I think that's what I've been lacking the most.

     

    In other news... it's 6:13 am in the morning. I've got class at 8:05. This insomnia lifestyle has been going on for about a week now. Am I becoming a insomniac? Is there something I can do to not go to bed 2 hours before class starts? I am asking you, the very few who read my Xanga anymore, for help. Or for sleeping drugs.

Friday, 18 April 2008

  • It's 5:30 am. We just had a flippin earthquake! I am pulling an all nighter, and needed a little boost to keep me going, and I guess nothing is better is a considerable earthquake, waking up your entire floor and giving you the adrenaline to finish 3 homework assignments.

Wednesday, 16 April 2008

Tuesday, 15 April 2008

  • Its 4:39 am on a school night. So this post might not seem too coherent.

    But I might as well post it. It's keeping me up as it is.

    I've grown distant from my Salem (back home) friends, which is something that basically killed me freshmen year of college, but now that I am a sophomore, I could really care less.

    I've met some amazing people who seem to really genuinely care about me (or more so than I was used to) who make me happy and actually seem to want to help me in my times of need.Which is something else I was never used to.

    I'm talking about real friendship, not a group of people with similar interests who all hang out together. That's what I'm used to. That's what I had. But when I misinterpreted them for real friendships, which left me being very hurt when I was struggling with life. Granted, there still are few who seem interested in being a real friend. And I do understand that people are very busy now these days, but part of a friendship is to put forth some effort. When no effort is apparent, it makes my job a lot harder.

    I know I'm not saying exactly what it is I want to say, but I'll try to summarize what I'm trying to say:

    I'm sick of being the only one that tried to make friendships work. I'm going to stick with the people who care and who want to be my friend. You know, those who will stick with you through thick and thin. I'm tired of having ones that are only there for the thin.